People say that new years resolutions aren’t worth making because within the first month 75% of them fail. The joke is on them because I haven’t started any of mine yet! I need to find a way of tracking what I would like to do this year. There are so many things I would like to accomplish this year but I find my job really keeps me from having any time to do any of it. I spend 40 hours a week in an office, 10 hours commuting, and 10 hours at my other job each week. My office job isn’t one I care about, maybe one day I would be able to, but right now I need to believe I am meant for more than sitting in an office pushing paperwork. The thought of moving to New Zealand is becoming very appealing and my window of being able to get a work visa there are slimming. There is a fresh start in moving no matter what anyone tells you. Moving shows you how adaptable the human race really is. It allows one to learn new skills by forcing them to try going out for drinks with coworkers, trying new things, and showing someone that no matter what life goes on.
I would like my life to mean more than just pushing papers in a company I know nothing about. When I’m not at work, I am keeping busy so I don’t feel like my time is always wasted. In order to do that, I never really have any down time for myself. I know life is what you make it, but when I hit my 20s everyone said how exciting this time is and how they will be years filled with experiences. I have had a few but I was imagining that there would be more that a few and they would come naturally. Maybe I got my hopes up too high or maybe my life hasn’t had the right timing? Either way I either need to get a break in job searching or take a leap of faith and start somewhere else.
This sounds like a lot of sad hopeless talk and while I do feel these things, I do have hope. My cats still greet me every day when I come home and my boyfriend cooks me dinner since I’m gone so much. Even when I feel my worse (and it sounds dumb), the way my cats look at me and make me laugh gives me hope. The unfortunate sudden passing of he 9 helicopter victims on Sunday was a sudden reminder that there is no time to throw pity parties. This life is fast and while there are pressures to live it a certain way, one can still choose how they want to live. I already know I am not cut out for wedding planning, buying a house, and having kids 2 years later; so why would i need to stay that course and keep a 9-5 job? That’s another issue I have: when growing up people said how adult jobs are 9-5 when in reality they are 8-5 with a mandatory lunch. Such. A. Drag.
I am trying to write here more because it does help. I don’t feel like I am constantly complaining to my boyfriend and it does take a weight of my shoulders. It will be more regular when I start the 52 hikes, but until then I’ll do my best.
25 going on 52 